A Little "Peace" of Japan

The past few weeks have not brought a peaceful beginning to 2007. Domestic troubles in Frenchy land is the primary cause. My colleague said to me, "It's really funny how domestic troubles bring trouble to every other part of your life," and it's the God's honest truth. Work is tougher, sleep is limited and less restful, and in general, there's a big, ticking bomb interrupting the normal peace in your life. Fortunately, the bomb hasn't exploded yet.

I thought it would take time, and it has, and things seem to be on the mend, with another weekend behind us. Yesterday we took a long walk around Jyuugaoka, an area of Tokyo that brings back fond memories of my past, living with P in Gakugei-daigaku, and escaping the normal frenzy of urban life in the residential districts on the Toyoko line.

S and I discovered this cafe, an old Japanese house which had been turned into quite a hopping little business while still holding on to its traditional charm. I sipped a "matcha au lait" (green tea latte) and thought about the power of time. The setting of the old house, the fusion beverage I was drinking, and the fact that I was still sitting in front of S... all of it made me conscious that time is always running and every element of life is changing by the second. Change brings discontinuity, like the old house-turned-cafe in the middle of Jyuugaoka, but somehow it really works. So I'm hoping that S and I, despite all of our differences and discontinuties, will be able to fix all the pieces in a complementary way and make things work. The history is there, so only time will tell the future.

It Can't Come Quickly Enough

I can't decide
Whether you should live or die
Oh, you'll probably go to heaven
Please don't hang your head and cry

No wonder why
My heart feels dead inside
It's cold and hard and petrified
Lock the doors and close the blinds
We're going for a ride

HAPPY NEW YEAR!

My 17 day trip home is coming to a close, only with the best ending to 2006. I did another whirlwind tour of the Northeast, having stopped in Ann Arbor, Michigan for a night to visit with A, and then on to Baltimore for Christmas at my sister's, home to PA, and then to NYC for our New Year's extravanganza. It couldn't have worked out better, since two of my best friends (one from uni and one from high school) who didn't know each other live in the same apartment building on the upper East side, so a lift later I was in either of their apartments. It was one of the best new years ever -- we forked out a pretty penny for Tao, a trendy restaurant in New York, but it was completely worth it. The food, atmosphere, and company of course were unbeatable, not to mention that it was amazing to see the best of New York rockin' the new year away.

The moment I stepped onto the subway in New York, I felt different. It's difficult to explain in words, but the best way I can describe it is that I felt a rush of reality. If New York City were an object, it would be something hard, cool, with pointy corners -- maybe like a square block of swirly marble. It's tangible. Tokyo would be a bubble of reflective light, with the colours of the rainbow exchanging places on the surface, floating away, transient. It's surreal, dreamlike. I like both. But I feel like life is richer or fuller in New York. I guess there are plenty of times to live in your dreams, like when you are old and gray and no longer able to let life absorb every part of you. But isn't now the time to experience the full-bodied taste of life? That's what I feel New York is... a big rush of air that makes you open your eyes and realise you are living. Can a city really have that much power? As crazy as it sounds, I don't doubt it.

That being said, I guess one has to be prepared to really face life in all its dimensions. Tokyo is a different reality, and I emphasise its escapist qualities. But it's my reality, and it's where I see my 2007.

My new year's resolution is to do whatever it takes to feel absolutely fabulous as often as possible. It's pretty abstract, but I think I know what it entails. Maybe it will take more than 2007 to accomplish, but I've got time.