Spring fever...

has hit Tokyo. The cherry blossoms had come and were soon gone with a few gusty days and two days of frigid cold. Now, as I sit at my desk wishing away the glass separating me from some healthy sunlight, it feels like Springtime again.

It's my first Spring in Tokyo, and I ask myself why I hadn't traded a hot, sticky month of June for an April or May here before. Ah, right, the academic calendar... glad for that to be over, though for how long remains the question... How difficult do you think it is for one to make the switch from the working world back to the academic? The opportunity costs of leaving my office space for further academic pursuit-- a good salary, free nights & weekends, in my case a life less stressful (I put too much pressure on myself in school), a job I like... and for what? More knowledge [doesn't that come with life experience]? The potential for a better job [could get that by working more]? Greater discipline [I think a loss of discipline has done me well in fact]? Because you feel you should push yourself to the most of your ability [this is the one that always gets me]?

I once thought that there was no other place for me but the top. And it was inevitable that I would always aim there. I was the persona of the ultimate career woman, even "most likely to succeed"-- but succeed at what? At finding the best, most coveted job? Now that I have a job, all I've realized is that work is overrated. I spend 70% of my time working working working, when there are 10,000 other things I'd much rather be doing for 70% of the rest of my life. And I even like my job! I'm just beginning to realize now that maybe what I should be striving for and succeeding at isn't so tangible. Things like contentment, happiness, peace. And the good news is, I really am happy right now. That's why I'm just not so sure about grasping for other opportunities that may indeed be helping me to succeed at realizing my "utmost academic potential," but may not guarantee the genuine smile on my face that I sport so often here (this one is open- mouthed but you get the picture... )