Thailand...

If my online absence is any indication of how busy my life is, then you may guess that I haven't even had time to think let alone write. I'll do my best to update, as there have been some items of mild interest, though most of them may just be lost in translation.

THAILAND, March 19-28:
We are not by any means talking about glitz and glamour, but good fun does not always necessarily take G&G. Anyway, I had B&L, Becca--high school friend and current globetrotter--she's been traveling around Australia, Southeast Asia, and now Japan since November; Lionel--big, hairy French friend of S, who had planned a trip to Thailand for a soccer tournament and took some extra time off for a vacation. The three of us made one, very awkward but funny threesome. The dynamics of this manage a trois were perhaps the funniest part of this trip. Becca brings out the wild side of me with her spontaneity and spirit, and Lionel, well, Lionel is just a big teddy bear who I think was just thoroughly entertained by these two out of control vibrant, young girls.

The trip began in Bangkok where strange smells and kooky travelers seep out of every crack and crevice of the brutally hot city. We hung out around the traveler's area, called Koh San Road, where anything and everything was for sale at various prices, depending on one's ethnicity, language skills and negotiating prowess. After our fill of being ripped off a few bhat here a few more there, on Day 2 we headed to the island of Koh Samet (to get ripped off somewhere else), which was a 3-hour bus ride and 1-hour rickety boat ride from Bangkok. According to Becca, because of the tsunami, prices have gone up and more Thai are vacationing in Koh Samet. We found the only bungalow left, as it seemed, at the resort with the big beach "discotechque." One tiny cabin with no hot water, no flushable toilet, and what I thought was a dying rooster in our vent (it turned out to be a gecko), and one small bed... for the 3 of us. Lionel was in heaven (obviously), but it turned out to be more funny than anything else. After teaching the Frenchman the meaning of "spooning," I observed that we were positioned much more like butter knives than anything resembling spoons. The days were spent lounging on the beach, snorkeling, gorging ourselves with fresh seafood and sipping banana milkshakes. The nights were spent being extremely drunk or taking care of the one who had gotten extremely drunk that night. My night was the last one, full moon party, where I ALMOST (but didn't!) had a regrettable run-in with another long-haired Swede. More memorable was the return to Bangkok the next day, on a non-air conditioned mini bus, on which my stomach was grumbling and gurgling something fierce. I just HAD to get off that bus and said so about 5 times, but the driver, having been commissioned to stop at only one particular rest stop, inhumanely forced me to wait about an hour and a half until I could finally relieve myself of pure misery.

The remainder of Bangkok was spent once again shopping, this time in the weekend market, where Becca and I spent 5 hours and bought more than we could carry, all at the damage of only about $100 each. Triple strand freshwater pearls for $15--I call that a bargain! I also got S all of his birthday presents, which turned out to be a pretty big hit. Our last day (Becca's birthday) was spent at a tattoo parlor, where Becca got the tattoo she's always wanted (see the pics!) and the night at a trendy club called "Bedd"--great DJ, and in true Jo-chan fashion, I convinced Becca to dance at the front of the club on the speaker with me. Is it true you're not supposed to dance on a stage in Thailand with a mini skirt on? If so, pardon mon faux pas, s'il vous plait.
Finally finally, we flew to Singapore, which should perhaps more appropriately be called SimCity. I never would have imagined a place so well-groomed and thoroughly planned could have existed in the same hemisphere as the land of 7,000 funny smells called Thailand. More shopping and eating, and I was ready to return to a hot shower and temperate climate. But don't worry, I got it all on camera!

Feeling Sideways...

Busy Busy Busy is the only way to describe this past week. TGIF for sure! Not only have I been super busy at work, but I have been out every night this week as well. Fun times, but so fun that they've left me with about as much energy as a wet rag for the weekend.
Funny that I leave for Thailand tomorrow. I haven't packed yet or anything! I don't think it's quite sunk in yet that I'm leaving in 24 hours. I did, however, start my room makeover to make space for Bex' 2-month bonanza in Tokyo. I rearranged my furniture, and even cleared out space in my drawers and closet. Now THAT is a good friend!

The activities of the week included dinner on Tuesday night with Px and Matto at our fave izakaya in Shibuya, ironically right down the street from where I used to live. Wednesday night S and I went to dinner and a movie, hence the reference to feeling Sideways, a thought-provoking film about the human spirit and experience. Set entirely from the male point of view, it was interesting to see how two very different middle-aged men come to terms with the paths of their lives-- how people grow (closer or farther apart), how people fool themselves about their lives (to avoid disappointment?), and how all of this relates to the very substance that changes the color of my face to a too-conspicuous rouge. Wine.

St. Patty's Day followed, and of course I was not missing the night to celebrate my Irish heritage. I had set up dinner and drinks at my old stomping ground Hobgoblin with some co-workers and a reporter from the Wall Street Journal. I love when the company pays to make my celebrations that much better! And I saw my favorite Irish bartender (we go waaaay back), who gave S and me some Bailey's to cap the night off.

My busy week has finally come to an end, and my eyes are struggling to stay open. The clock reads 15:43, always my sleepiest time of day.

Bon voyage to me, and be ready for some good pics with my new digi cam upon my return from the shopping mecca and glorious beaches of Southeast Asia.

Party like a rockstar?...

That I did. Thanks for the birthday shout out elizabethbutler-chan. It was probably the best birthday weekend I've had in a long time. In fact I don't think I'd change anything about it. Thanks so much to Px, Tokyomx, S and everyone else who helped me celebrate. I didn't know so much fabulousness could be stuffed into one weekend!
Friday night, the 11th: I was birthday wined and dined. S, boyfriend turned fashion consultant, advised me to gather up my sexiest dress and shoes for a dinner out. I had no clue where we were going until we got into the taxi and I heard our destination.
"Shinjuku Park Hyatt"

New York Grill:

It's actually the restaurant that shares its bar with the infamous hotel bar that Bill Murray and Scarlett Johannson frequent in Lost in Translation. It's heaven-- quite literally-- I found myself looking out the window into the haze of the clouds. The view from the 52nd floor was stunning. The meal began with a cosmo and ended with finally, FINALLY my beloved slab of hot meat in the form of a mouthwatering filet mignon!! If they say the way to a man's heart is through his stomach, it was obviously before they met me. S and I closed the restaurant and a really perfect night.

Saturday, March 12th: A continuation of the festivites, but more the drunken silly ones than the romantic. P and I brought it local for this one-- a 15 person birthday dinner/party at our local eatery Connections. As I put in my evite, a great mix of Asian and Italian, just like me! P and Mx were incredible and ordered all the champagne and wine we could drink-- and boy did we ever drink. Highlights of the night included amazing company, the most touching toast ever from my sweetie Matt, and though it totally wasn't even deserved, 2 fabulous gifts-- a digi cam from P, Mx&Jo-Jo, Matt, K&M

Click here to see them all! And please keep in mind it's my birthday so I'm allowed to act like that.
The second pressie was silver and came from S in a blue box-- THE blue box . OK, so S found there are 2 ways to this girl's heart...

And that just about wrapped up a perfect birthday weekend. Made possible only thanks to my unbelievable friends who I can't thank enough.

If my DC/Nazo crew would have been there too, it would have made things only better, but for Tokyo, it will be a weekend never to forget.

My first trip off the island...

Back to my second day of work after a 4-day holiday snowboarding in Hokkaido. Moreover, back to work with nothing to do. Add Spring time, sunny warm weather to the equation, and you just about know how motivated I am right now.

But I digress. The trip to Hokkaido was AMAZING! Think winter wonderland! Huge rolling mountains, snow-covered shores and thick, fluffy powder snow covering all of the slopes. I've now been spoiled by the boarding conditions and will probably stick up my nose at the resorts around Tokyo from now on. We boarded for 4 straight days, proving to be quite the challenge for my weak right ankle, bruised knees and aching muscles, but just the right way to improve. We were 10-- Me and Px, her 2 Japanese colleagues, S and 4 of his Frenchy friends, and one of their Japanese girlfriends, who ended up being about the same age as me and a very cool girl. The boys went off and did their own silly boy things, while we girls conquered the red (intermediate) runs, and even a few blacks. In the deep powder snow, falling wasn't so much a painful experience but an opportunity to roll around and do somersaults backwards down the hill. Believe it or not, this mindset causes you to fall less! I must give credit, however, to Frenchy F, who ended up being a most subarashii sensei. Because of his little tips I was careening down the slopes, off piste in the "do not enter" areas under the lifts, and between trees (only partially on my ass) by the end.

The dynamics of the group were quite funny as well. I have no complaints about being entertained by 5 very cute Frenchy boys, and to my delight, Px even liked them too! Apart from boarding we were almost too tired to do anything else besides going to onsen (referred to by the boys as the "swimming pool" because they were convinced the one we preferred was not "real onsen water"), eating lots and lots of ikura-don, miso ramen and other yummy Hokkaido delights, and drinking nama beer and umeshuu. The lodge was absolutely adamant about having us awake for 7:30am breakfast, and for some strange reason, the restaurant didn't quite appreciate our bringing cereal and toast from the conbini to breakfast rather than waking up that god-awful early. After listening to Frenchy G snore like he had industrial farm equipment working inside his nose, it didn't make for many good nights of sleep.

But all-in-all, a great weekend and break from Tokyo-- just making this week that much harder to get through, however. Now on to party planning-- my birthday bash will be held this Saturday at a location near you-- or near me, anyway... and then the next weekend I'm off to Thailand for 10 days and I'm bringing a present (Becca) back with me. Will try to update and get my photos uploaded somewhere in between, and god willing, get a new camera before I leave so I don't have to be embarrassed anymore by my "brick."

Here are some...

Here are more...

Boarding pics...

I know you have all wanted to see me with all my new gear, or to make fun of me all bundled up with my ultra cool goggles on... well here is your chance! Enjoy!

Jo-lo in da snow


Snow "angel" and Yoko Yoko taking a rest before her next run


Karuizawa...


Mandy with her new board


The Fab 5 after their day in powder

"Texas Hold Your Bollocks..."

So P dubbed our poker night. It was the first I've played since the days of my "youth" back in D.C. with my Phi Psi boys. And I had almost forgotten how addictive it can be! I was getting up for snowboarding the next morning at 6am, so we started early with the intention of finishing at a decent hour. Less than decent ended up being 2:30am. We had 5 players and more than enough tacos to start us off. The round up included PG, co-worker in a former life and poker "otaku," i.e. "I'm British but should be from Vegas," his girlfriend A-chan who is Japanese but has the best British accent ever, O-chan, P, S and me. PG, A-chan and I were the only ones who knew how to play, but a few bottles of wine/beer/shampoo later (note the red face in the pics), and everyone had gotten the hang of it pretty quickly. Also P's family tradition of hat-wearing spiced things up a bit. Choose your hat, choose your luck. If the luck runs out in the white fuzzy beret, no worries, just change to another. The boys were looking loverly in pink, of course (it's basically the only color hats P and I own)

They always say, the most memorable rounds are the ones you [almost] won. In my case there was one in particular, a big loss to S with a sad story behind it. I was dealt pocket aces. The flop and turn were all low cards-- nothing looking too promising for anyone, not even a face card on the table. And then the river brought a possible straight. Someone only needed a 5 to win... but both the blinds had folded, and who would have stayed in so long with a 5 until the river!? Perhaps I temporarily forgot we were playing with beginners, or perhaps I was too excited by my pocket aces... I'd been trying to run up the pot and then found myself trying to buy it. But P and S are (unfortunately) no quitters. They call and flip one card each to be cocky... they had nothing. I reach for the chips!.... until, S decides to be a smart a$$ and flips his other card, which is THE 5, of course. Little does he know it was a very expensive hand for him because next time I'm doing him no favors. Anyway, in the end, the money ended up with PG and A-chan-- I think they teamed up and pulled a fast one on us. I broke even, and S, P and O-chan (who ended up curled up on the couch before the night was over) lost maybe 3 drinks in Roppongi each. Not a bad night overall.


The 6am wake up was a less than deserved challenge, but the boarding was fun. I finally feel as though I can do it properly and just enjoy without having to focus too intently on staying on board and off ass. In less than 2 weeks I will be tearing up the curves in the powderly bliss of Niseko (in Hokkaido, the northernmost island) for a long weekend with 5 Frenchy boys and the KVH posse. Kid in a candy store? You read my mind!

Yikes!

4:46am = HUGE earthquake!! The biggest that I've felt yet! It's the first time things have fallen off our TV... seemingly not such a big deal, but actually pretty freaking scary. When the shaking continued I jumped out of bed, met P in the lounge room, and we ran downstairs to open the door. When all seemed calm, we headed back up and turned on the TV, which at first said to stay on alert for tsunami. We freaked out for about a minute, and then they changed their statement to say no danger of tsunami. Ugh, it just gives me the shivers, though (a bit too literally).

The cold, pouring rain didn't help my mood. I've had a bad cold the past few days and decided it was best to spare my body the pain of going to the office today. My first sick day. I slept until 2 and am ready to go back to bed again now, 4 hours later. I just can't seem to keep my head up.......

Valentine's Day...

Here in Japan it somewhat reflects the sexism that still permeates the workplace. Valentine's Day is a "man's day." The women are expected to give chocolates not only to their boyfriends, husbands, or "crushes," but to the men in their office as well. Hence we have the giving of "giri choco," which literally means "obligation chocolates." Quite literally, when a woman gives chocolates to her co-workers, she will say, "Giri choco desu."--> "These are your obligation chocolates." What a way to show appreciation!

On March 14th, one month later, the holiday "White Day" was initiated to let the women get even. This is the day for the men to give chocolate to the ladies. The thing I don't think is fair, is that the men can see which women gave them chocolate, and then they can simply just return the favor to those women, and in true male fashion, not give it much thought at all. The burden of "how much should I spend" and "who should I give chocolate to" falls yet again to the women.
In the midst of these J-traditions, it was a basically Valentine-free Valentine's Day for me. S thinks that Valentine's Day is commercial, and that a holiday shouldn't dictate to him when to be romantic (of course he's French, so NO ONE can dictate how to be romantic to him, haha). So, though up until now, I have pretty much been a V-day believer, like most American girls, worrying what type of present is most appropriate for the current status of my relationship, and getting way too excited for what kind of surprise date I could possibly be in for, I've found myself more cynical this year. Is Valentine's Day simply a day of "giri romance?"-- the day when every couple feels obligated to do something romantic just because it's Valentine's Day, though every other day of the year lacks any romance? And doesn't obligation defeat the purpose of romance anyway?

A work party on Valentine's Day evening prevented me from doing it the "traditional" way anyway, but S and I did still manage a last-minute, totally unplanned rendezvous, which I guess was spontaneous enough for him and still romantic enough for me.
I've concluded that all the Valentine's Day fluff of roses or chocolates or "romance" won't make anyone fall in love anyway. So why not make such a holiday just an obligatory day to break up the monotony of a hard-working February? I certainly will not be opposed to receiving my "giri choco" on White Day next month !!

WOW Zao!...

My second weekend of snowboarding has come to a successful close. This time it was 5 of us girls, pretty much beginners, facing some wild wind and about 3.5 meters of snow. From start to finish it was a fun trip, almost like being a kid at camp again. We did this one cheaply-- took the bus and stayed in an anachronic lodge that was literally usurped from the beginning years of the Bubble economy. The 5 of us stayed in one room-- think 5 sets of bunk beds and a bright orange carpet-- it was room 217, which actually wasn't even written on any of the signs at the hotel. Officially, the room numbers reached only 215 and we are convinced we were actually hidden in a storage area. But actually in the end it wasn't even that bad. The place had an onsen (hot spring), so it's not like we were bothered by the shared bathroom/shower, and I was so exhausted I could have slept on a rock-- the futon was surprisingly quite comfy anyway. And meals (basic washoku style) were included and pretty good-- even had mangos (possibly not as good as in Dominica, but I digress).

By the end of day 2 on the slopes, after having had a lesson the day before, which helped a lot, I was smoothly dismounting the lift without falling, skating along flat surfaces with one foot in the binding and the other on the board, and most importantly, maneuvering down the slope (unsteadily but still maneuvering) in "S" turns. The challenge was the last run-- A. had convinced me to come up with her to try the intermediate slope, which we knew immediately was a mistake when we saw it. I ended up facing the mountain and braking down the whole thing! But hey, if you don't try, you never know, right?

Anyway it's really fun learning a new sport, I realized. It's been a while since I've worked on a new physical skill-- the days of learning to do backflips are over. I guess for a soon to be 23-yr old, snowboarding is a good sport to pick up, however expensive! On Sunday I realized I was $100 short of spending my entire budget for the month... and $800 of it has been spent on snowboarding (gear, trips) for this month only. Incredible. I have now limited myself to weeknights straight home from work, canned soup and blogging-- at least for the next few weeks. Be prepared to hear much more from me!

Upon arrival to... summer camp??! On the slopes with Amy


Our dodgy lodgey ranchi I heart Mandy


Yuka survived her first day! Happy faces!


That's me in action! And me on my butt... a common theme...


The post-onsen pic... we feel normal again!

Such a great mix...

Event: O-chan's birthday dinner, organized by moi since I wasn't back from snowboarding in time to make it to her party on Sunday...

Participants: O, my beautiful, first real Korean girl friend! Hehe, sometimes I feel like she is (or should be) my sister.. I don't know, she just kind of "gets it." I often wonder what I would be like had I grown up in Korea, and I guess she kind of gives me some sort of idea of it. We are alike in a lot of ways, I think, but not even in very tangible ways. It's just a strange feeling I get.

T-Kennedy, O's boyfriend, an American lad who was my best friend and confidant here 2 summers ago when I was caught in my messy web of European lovers, yet was still, ironically, so alone. T was unemployed at the time, so we would get to spend lots of time with each other while our significant others were busy/living in Korea. Since then he has become an elite member of the banking bourgeousie, also known by initials GS. We're so proud of him!

A., my Hong Kongese-American long-time partner in crime, who, as I mentioned before just moved one station away from me. Also a member of the elite GS crowd, A. planned this weekend's snowboarding trip to Zao. We will fall together!

The four of us studied together in Nagoya, so we go waaaayyy back!

And finally, Han, a Korean colleague of O's, whom I met for the first time. Very sweet guy and everything I expected of a fine Korean young man.

Venue: Good Honest Grub, Harajuku -- O's choice as it was her birthday.. she wanted Western food... masshisoyo?

The mix: I just can't be more amused by the stares we were getting from people. We have 4 Asians in the group-- All speaking Japanese, though not quite natively. 1 obvious gaijin also speaking very good Japanese. Out of the same five, 3 were speaking native level English with American accents, 1 conversational English, and 1 not much at all. I don't think one person could figure out who the heck we were or where we were from. Even Han didn't figure it out after we had been sitting and talking for 2 hours. In the middle of the conversation, he looked at A and said, "Nihonjin? (Japanese?)"

Highlights: A. teaching us to say, "Are you full?" in Chinese (Cantonese), T trying Beijing style (he lived there a while), and O and Han noting that the same word (pronounced slightly differently) means F*ck off in Korean. Me? I couldn't contribute much to this conversation.
O. styling all of our lovely locks in a butterfly, diamond-studded comb and taking various pictures of us (boys and girls) in our best modeling poses.

All finished off with lost diamond from said diamond-studded comb.

I find comfort in the fact that I am not the only crazy one in this city.

Firsts...

Wobble wobble. Balance? How!? Fall down. Try to get up--but oh so unsuccessfully. Down on my ass again. Really gonna get up this time. Almost there, come on just stand the hell up! Ah, back on my feet again. Just before (shit!) wobbling and falling down again. The joys of learning to snowboard.

This past weekend was my first time. P's friend shares a huge 4 bedroom house in Minakami with 3 other guys, and they go up every weekend. So the two of us took advantage of the invitation and went for a jam-packed 2 days of snowboarding. I had received warnings from everyone I knew. "You won't be able to sit down or turn your neck for days." "You'd better get some butt padding." Well, it wasn't as bad as I thought. At first I was sure I was going to kill myself, but once you get used to balancing and learning to shift your weight it's alright. The first day my boots were too big, so I ended up having to stay on my back edge because my heels were coming up out of my boots when I tried going on my toes. So there I went whizzing down the slopes shakily but without falling too much. But by the second day, I realized, the point isn't to stay on the back edge the whole time. I needed to learn to turn! I had taken a pretty hard fall on my 2nd run of the day right on my lower back, and I swear I thought I had broken it. Aside from the pain, my confidence was shaken, which means I just fell more. But up I went again, and after a few more good runs and successful turns, all in all, I seemed to be alright and I had so much fun!!... SO much fun that I am going again this weekend to Zao. Everyone says that the more often you go and keep following up on what you learned, the better you get. So, in preparation, tonight I went out and bought a Salomon board, boots, bindings, a huge bag for my board and gear, a new coat, pants, and gloves-- all Salomon-- for 33000 yen ($330). I was chuffed! Such a bargain! And now I never have to worry about renting too-big boots again! P and I are now in the process of planning a trip up to Hokkaido in 2 weeks as well for a long 4 day weekend, and S is coming too... can't wait!! Yes, I warn you now-- watch out on the slopes-- I have become a snowboarding convert.

Along with snowboarding, the trip had some other firsts: Imagine having a long hard day of boarding, and every muscle you never even knew you had aches. But then, you have the amazing opportunity to soak outside in a rotomboro (outdoor hot spring-- this one was co-ed no less), surrounded by some pretty gorgeous guys, just relaxing your body in the hot pool under the falling snow. THIS is heaven!!! It might just be the best part of snowboarding in Japan! :)
Speaking of gorgeous guys, at least half of them on this trip were. Yet, while grilling thin slices of meat over the Korean barbecue, I found myself saying in the dinner conversation, for the first time, "my boyfriend." So I guess it is pretty much safe to say I do have a boyfriend now-- still S, and I'm still as happy as can be with my adorable Frenchman.

Monday brought me back to Tokyo and to work, just in time for my FIRST EVER RAISE!!! Effective February 1st, I am now making 11% more than I was a few days ago. Thank you to all of you who made this possible. I will never forget you. And please, don't be fooled by the rocks that I've got... hehe.

And now for a very weird first... today was my dad's birthday so I called to wish him a happy birthday, to find out that, for the first time, I was told by my father that he got remarried-- in DECEMBER! And this was prompted by my asking, "So any other news?" and his response, "Nope, no other news, oh, except that we got married." What else could I say but "uhh, congratulations!" This is what I would call an abnormal parent-child relationship, or at least one that lacks proper communication. Dad really needs to hire a PR firm to manage his familial relationships-- too bad my firm doesn't specialize in training fathers how to show interest in their children.

Right, anyway, sorry for that tangent. Really, life is good!

Lesson learned last night...

Why settle for Jagermeister when you can have Veuve Cliquot?

My alcoholic analogy for the reaction to my date last night. I know I know, you're thinking, "Date?! Didn't you just post something last week about being head over heels for a Frenchy?" (who, by the way, I am calling S from now on, because I don't want to associate him with "Frenchy" anymore-- he's too good for that)" I am just a playa, what can I say?! No, really, though, I thought this would be a good idea, just to make sure I really am ready to commit to something if it comes to that. I said I was going to be really careful about taking my time with this one, and rather than rushing into things and then later panicking and yelling, "Wait! I want to see other people!" as I courteously release myself from the grips of the J keisatsu, I decided to do my homework first. This may seem childish, but I'd rather do it this way than hurt him later. And since technically it is OK for me to date other people at the moment, I took advantage of it.

Anyway, this one was a German, hence the reference to Jager. He was a very nice German, in fact, in addition to being the chief financial officer of Hugo Boss in Japan. He came very nicely packaged in a complete pin-striped Hugo Boss suit with the scent of his yummy cologne constantly wafting my way. If there was to be a "competitor" to the Frenchman, he was a formidable one. Like I said, he was very nice... and also very BORING. I found myself chattering away and forcing myself to keep the conversation rolling... Frankly it reminded me of sorority recruitment when I was matched with a rushee with whom 3 minutes of conversation felt like a very, VERY long hour at the dentist.

But no worries here-- isn't that what I wanted anyway? It confirmed my intuition. I don't want to see other people!

It's the truth: One sip of Veuve and you'll never go back!

My loverly locks...

This morning at the gym, while I was rushing to apply my make-up and get out of there by the 8:30 target, a funny thing happened. An older woman sitting next to me at the... what would you call it... "get pretty bar?"-- it's a room with mirrors as well as a counter with sinks, a supply of Q-tips, tissues, blow dryers, etc., all around the perimeter. Little stools are then spaced at the counter so you can sit (quite comfortably) and do your hair and make-up-- kind of like what you find at some hotel and fancy restaurant bathrooms in the States. A considerable improvement compared to American locker rooms. Anyway, this older Japanese woman turned to me and commented:
"You have such beautiful hair. Is there any special treatment you use to make it so beautiful?"
I responded with the usual, "Oh no, it's not beautiful" comment, being that it's Japan, and told her I had my hair straight permed. She seemed satisfied with the response and gave me a friendly bow before leaving to continue her beauty ritual elsewhere.

Anyway, it's funny how a nice little comment like that can really put you in a good mood at the start of a day. I always find it especially nice when random Japanese people talk to me and I can respond without their noticing that I'm not Japanese. Apparently my hair and my Japanese, perhaps, are improving.

My bitch session...

It is 8:15pm. I am in the office. I am the ONLY one in the office. I am waiting for a press release from a client so I can send it to a translator to be done by tomorow morning. It was supposed to arrive at 7:30. It is now 8:17, and still no release. The client was conveniently on the phone when I called. The translator will be pissed because he now has 47 less minutes to work on it tonight. I am paid the least out of everyone here-- WHY am I stuck here!? Sorry, I guess it isn't THAT late, but I didn't have much on all day, and was excited for an early getaway. I feel like I'm here for a stupid reason. I have no other work to do right now, and so here I am bitching to my blog. I guess this is on top of other annoyances, however, which have just put me in a bad mood. Another was a briefing memo, which I finished at 2pm today and sent "upstairs" to the big boss for a "check over." He finished checking it at 7pm, and then left me to reformat the whole document because he, once again, screwed up the bullet points. I have pre-experienced my hell on earth reformatting bullet points. They have an agenda of their own, trust me.
8:47 and I'm still here... still no release, but I'm blowing this joint. Hopefully I can check from home and send it later.

Head in the clouds...

P called me out on it. I was washing the dishes and had this stupid giddy smile and dreamy eyed look on my face. "What are you smiling about?" "Oh me? Nothing," I answered, trying not to smile. But God I hate when I do that. Whenever I try not to smile I just end up smiling more. When we were kids, all my guy friends would love playing that dumb game with me-- the one when you try not to smile for 60 seconds while the other person makes all kinds of funny faces at you. I was the inevitable loser everytime and would burst out laughing. I am still surprised by the fact that I can actually keep a poker face.

It seems, however, that I have recently developed "the smile." This is the one that accompanies the fluttery stomach. The one that you might catch on someone else's face and wonder if they know some really good secret that you don't. The one that keeps you from concentrating on any small task and makes you mad at yourself for wasting your time with your head in the clouds. Well, I've gotten it, and I only hope it doesn't go away too soon. If I remember correctly, though, it's just the beginning of the ride. If you've ever started seeing someone you really like, you know this ride. It's the one in the brand new Ferrari that can accelerate from 0 to 150mph in .33 seconds (bear with me, it's a super Ferrari). You're loving it and just want to keep enjoying the ride, but yet a part of you is thinking, "whoa, slow down, if this thing goes any faster it's just sure to crash and burn." And with some good sense, I'll tone it down a few gears. I really will try, though I say this with a sly smile. Perhaps I know myself too well. I'd take a crash and burn over a Sunday joyride anyday.

Can you feel my pain?

Wednesday & Thursday went much the same.

6am - wake up (still dark and cold, desire to get out of my warm bed ZERO)715 am - arrive at the gym, run a few miles, am dismayed at the fact that I have gained 2 kilos since B's sayonara party in October. Resolve to keep going in the mornings, though OUCH every muscle in my body is hurting845 am ~ 730pm - WORK... I have resigned myself to the fact that there are no more "slow" days. Every day is just this busy. Though I did get props from my boss at a staff meeting for my "crisis management" abilities in persuading said newspaper to print a different quote from Tuesday's interview.

830pm - arrive home, futz about with some sort of sustenance (or canned soup, which wouldn't necessarily count)

930pm - pilates, gossip with P, etc etc

11pm - bed.

How depressing!? I was even supposed to go out last night but couldn't even entertain the thought of staying awake.

Today has been just as jam packed until now. Maybe I finally get a breather! TGIF!

HOLY STRESS...

Can't exactly call this the best day...

I had to be at the Imperial Hotel this morning at 8:30 to sit in on 4 media interviews for a client. I arrive at the station promptly at 7:40, and among the swarms of people around me, I stand wondering, "Have I never been to the station at this time of morning? Why are there sooo many people standing around?" And then I hear it. The train is broken down. NOOOOO!!! I call my boss who lives in the area, but she had already left. Next thought, hail a cab. Unfortunately that was everyone else's next thought too. Not a cab to be found. I walk to the nearest bus stop and wait 1/2 hour in a skirt, chilled to the bone. No bus. No bus. No bus. At 8:15, I see the train pass on the tracks. Up and running again... 9:00 arrival at the hotel, just when the interview started. Phew! Close one... but still not a way to start a morning.

Next, crisis management. The client made a quote that we did NOT want in print, and a publication was going to use it. Fortunately this one was a decent reporter, and told us about the quote before he printed it. Had to liaise back and forth with client and reporter to make a quote they could both agree on. The client was freaking, "He CAN'T print that! Can you do something?" I totally owe this journalist-- he agreed not to print it. Too close again.
Finally, I just checked my e-mails from home. A NY client e-mailed last Friday night (Friday morning NY time) that she didn't get an article translation that was sent by our media monitor, though her address was clearly on the e-mail. I, being the dedicated member of the proletariat that I am, ventured into the office on Saturday to resend this already sent article... ONLY to get an e-mail today saying, "Where is it? I still didn't get it." WHAT!? This internet thing is CLEARLY against me! One very long distance, off hours and embarrassing phone call later, I am off the hook (barely) again.

I am too young to be stressed by work. Make it stop! Bedtime can only come to soon. This day needs to end!

The current snapshot...

And what a weekend it turned out to be. We are blessed with another random Japanese holiday this Monday, so after a killer week at work I can now take advantage of a not-so-early Monday morning at the office.

Highlights of my weekend include but are not limited to:

1. Finding out that my friend A. is moving to Toritsu-daigaku, within walking distance from me. Super excited about that!

2. Buying the hottest shirt ever at a sale at FCUK... 5000 yen for not so much material, but totally worth it. I'll be sure to post a pic of this one when I wear it.

3. Finally, thank God, a new mama chari, aka bicycle with a basket. You can't even begin to imagine my excitement about this one! B, I am so sorry that "the rocket" didn't live up to its well-reputed name, but the air tube inside the tire popped, and for 7000 yen for a new bike, I couldn't resist. Not only do mama-chari cut down on time when you're in a rush to the station, but a whole new world is uncovered, including trips to Daiei anytime, where paper towels, toilet paper, and bathroom items are like 1/2 the price of the normal supermarket; a quick ride over to Mx's place rather than a 660 yen cab ride each way, and soon to be a short ride to A.'s too; and maybe even if I am really ambitious, I can ride to the park and go for runs there. I just rode to Mx's house tonight for another fabulous dinner as usual (her boyfriend is a phenomenal cook), and all I have to say is YAYYYY mama-chari!!!

4. A new development in the love life... It's been a while since I've written about Frenchies, but... actually since I told Frenchy 3 that we should just be friends, we really have been -- and have gotten to be quite good friends at that... and actually the better friends we got to be, the more I started thinking, maybe I do like him a bit? Anyway, friends with benefits couldn't harm anyone, right (famous last words, but...)? Anyway, I think this is a good thing, and I really actually am not hoping/expecting/even preparing for anything exclusive or serious, but I'm having fun for now, and I guess we'll see where things end up. Honestly I have no idea.

5. My future has become a bit fuzzier... no need to go into detail yet, but it seems that soon I might be having to make some difficult decisions about my life (again). Why can't I just be a normal person and settle to do one thing that I'm happy with?
Anyway, must be going now... company awaits....

"Home..."

Some say it is where the heart is... or maybe it's with the one(s) you love. In any case, for me, home is no one place. Though I had never been to Hawaii before in my life, I found that it was an easy place to call home for one week. The familiar company of my mother, still chain smoking and claiming that these non-smoking restaurants are discriminating, therefore forcing her to leave the table for periodic sessions of "respiratory therapy" (Mom lingo for smoke break); my sister roasting herself to a deep golden brown on the beach and resolving to move to Hawaii once and for all to the chagrin of my brother-in-law (she says this every beach we go to); and then Eric, stuck in the middle of all this estrogen and thus needing to make disgusting "boy" comments for attention, i.e. "Hey Joce, this looks like a deep fried spider!" referring to the calamari I'm popping in my mouth. Shopping, overeating, beaching, smoking, complaining about the smoke, with some slight variations in between-- these are the typical mantra of our family vacations.

From the time I was little, EVERY family vacation we have ever taken has been to a beach. The Jersey shore was our "regular" destination-- we'd rent a house for a week or two on Long Beach Island and have all our friends and family from home visit and stay with us... always a vacation for everyone except my mom, who was entertaining everyone. When my parents were together, we were the inevitable hosts. I hardly remember going to dinner to others' houses or being invited on vacation with other families. It was always my mom doing the cooking and inviting. Perhaps everyone simply accepted that she was "the hostess with the mostest." No one can do it better.

My mother and sister are just "beach people." I tell my sister if only she'd live in an oven she'd be happy. Apart from Long Beach Island, for a few years we were vacationing in Fripp Island, SC, the Outer Banks, NC, with occasional trips to Florida, Ocean City, MD, Fenwick, DE, Puerto Rico and the Dominican Republic. ALL BEACHES. Until I went to London on spring break as a sophomore in college, I'd never been on a non-beach bound vacation. Hawaii, then, was a natural choice and another reason it felt like home. But it wasn't just the company or the destination, this time, but also the feeling of coming back to my home country. Hawaii, be it closer to Japan or not, is still America, with English-speaking people, too-big portions of food, overweight people blocking the sunsets, snotty New Yorkers (yes, they are even in Hawaii!), slabs of meat you cut with a knife, the thrill of a sale at Banana Republic. This is home, too. Even the monster of a rental car we had felt normal. Just to be riding in a car on the wide roads of the States (for some reason I was not permitted to drive for "insurance purposes") felt so familiar, and in the midst of my mom's cigarette smoke and my sister singing off-key to the radio, we might as well have been back in Nazareth or Baltimore.

So maybe "home" is a sense of familiarity relative to somewhere not so familiar. The people, surroundings, or a combination of all contribute. And now I'm at the airport in Maui en route to another strange home. P will be gone for one more week, so the place will be strangely quiet. Though tonight when I return (or tomorrow--figuring the plus 19 hours), M will be at my place for her last night in Tokyo before departing for London. I'll see her off and then go to my host family's place in Toyota for the New Year. I'm half-wishing I'd planned it for a less hectic, tired time, but hell, I'm still young and genki. I'm sure I can ganbaru thru another 3 days of family time! By the way, it's hard to think of a more appropriate ending to a family vacation than sunrise over the mountains of Maui thru the airport window...!
See my

Karaoke Confessions...

How can an activity so basic bring out such extreme behaviors in people?

It seems basic anyway... you take a mike, you click in a song, you sing, and usually get drunk while you're at it, if you're not already. But from my experiences, the implications of karaoke go above and beyond the singing-in-the-shower type deals that you get in the States.

First, my confession... I ADORE karaoke! Fortunately for me, I'm not the only freak, nerd, etc. in this world who loves to hear herself sing. My flattie P is a regular diva. We have our regular duets, and (gulp) must admit we've practiced just the 2 of us before. (Sorry P, it had to be said...). So, I guess in my case, karaoke has the effect of making me feel like the Britney Spears or Christina Aguilera that I never will be... Anyway, I think, P, we fall into the "diva" category.
And I suppose compared with other things to do in Tokyo, karaoke is relatively good clean fun... but there is no limit to the emotions it brings out in people! Boys, take note... Hand the mike to a guy who can actually sing, and no kidding, he's 10 times sexier than he usually is (and the sexy ones just get sexier, i.e. B!) . Of course it goes both ways. It's all in good fun, but people who can't sing don't climb the sexy charts through karaoke...

The best was the Monday after our work bonenkai (end of year party), when my boss, who couldn't carry a note to save her jolly life came into work and decided to give her very opinionated, as always, account of the night's 2jikai. "Well, Jocelyn is the new karaoke star of the office. She's a bloody good singer. Unfortunately I can't carry a tune. But actually, you know, someone once told me that I just naturally sing a descant, so really it's not that I can't sing, I just naturally harmonize. So I need someone who can sing the main bit, and then I'm fine." My boss was referring to the Weather Girls song we sang together... she also no doubt falls into the "You're fooling yourself" category.

Then there are the shy ones who pretend they can't sing and then belt out "My Heart Will Go On" sounding twice as good as Celine Dion... but usually they sing these slow love songs, and after they're finished, there's just this long depressing silence until someone is like, OK! Livin the Vida Loca! and brings the party back to life.

And let's not forget about karaoke fights... back to my work 2jikai, a new director decides to input the song "My Way" for our very detail-oriented, you could say anal retentive, boss, exclaiming, "This one's for you! My Way! Just for you!" (No reference at all to the fact that the boss has been scrapping a lot of his work so far). As the tension builds, and builds, the boss retorts in his snottiest British, "I only sing the songs that I put in. Got it?" To no one's surprise, My Way was sung that night by our new director... NOT the boss.

And the karaoke chronicles could go on and on... believe me, the mike can bring EVERYONE to life!

Where have you gone?

Time, money, sleep, waistline, self control...
Just a start to the list.

First of all, hisashiburi (long time no see) to my blog!

It has been ages since I've last written, and though I know it seems to be a poor excuse, I have had NO TIME! I used to update my blog at work during a lazy, boring spell. Apparently I don't deserve those anymore, and (sigh) they have finally seen at work that I am competent and have been giving me more and more to do. The great part is, according to a chat with my boss after my 3 month probation period ended, he thinks that if I keep going at this rate I'll be moving up through the company quite quickly relative to everyone else. More specifically, he compared me to M, who moved up 4 positions and tripled her salary in 5 years. So, if I want to stay with this company and stay in Tokyo, I guess that could be me (without the red hair and sweet Scottish accent...)! Anyway, this is good to know because it keeps me hard at work, and I am enjoying it, so I guess now it's all about learning as quickly as I can and putting in the time...

Aside from work, which has been keeping me extremely busy, the social life has gone on an upswing as well. Of the past 10 nights, I have been out 9 of them... dinners, bars, movies, parties, karaoke, you name it. And let me tell you, my body, my brain, and my wallet are all EXHAUSTED! Good thing Hawaii is in 2 days or I might have had to climb to the top of Mt. Fuji and camp there for the winter by myself! Of course it's fabulous going out every night and having tons of good food and drinks, and being with friends, but all of the little things suddenly escape you. Christmas gifts to buy, birthday gifts to buy, laundry to do, letters to write... it all just slowly creeps up on you and then makes you jump with a tap on the shoulder when you least expect it.

Tokyo is a playground, and more than that, a playground within a bubble. And even more than that, it has some sort of suction function inside that just keeps nagging at you, and if you're not careful you'll be sucked into the abyss and transformed into a Tokyo ex-pat version of a Stepford Wife.

Anyway, the vacation should do me some good, though I hear that all of Japan is following me to Hawaii for the holidays. Won't it be funny to think I'll be missing out on one of the only times Tokyo is empty... Then I'm off to Toyota to visit my host family for the new year.
Let's hope that some sun, family time and relaxation will rejuvenate me for my return back to the playground...

ONLY IN JAPAN...

Guys, this e-mail is hilarious. P received it from the human resources person in her office-- and it is NO JOKE. ONLY IN JAPAN would this EVER happen!!!!

To Bldg. Members:I have made "Internal Umbrella Stand Rule", as some of you have advised me, and this rule will start from December 3, 2004. For this, we need your cooperation to clean up the present umbrella stands as the following.

Umbrella Stand Clean up

We have moved all the umbrellas to the "Temporary Umbrella Stand for Rainy Days".If you want to keep your umbrella in the office for in case of rain, please write your full name to your umbrella, and move it to the "Extra Umbrella Stand"

* Write your full name by either of following steps.

1) Write your full name to the plastic tape prepared near the umbrella stand, and stick it to your umbrella.
2) Write your full name to the Tag with rubber band which is prepared near the umbrella stand, and tie it to your umbrella.
3) Write your full name in your own way to your umbrella.

We will remove the following umbrellas after 17 o'clock of December 2, 2004.a) Umbrella in the "Extra Umbrella Stand" with no namesb) Umbrellas in the "Temporary Umbrella Stand for Rainy Days" in the sunny days.* The removed umbrellas will be kept for a month, and then will be disposed.* If it rains at December 2, 2004, this clean up will be postponed to the next day. Internal Umbrella Stand RuleWe will prepare two types of umbrella stands in Shin Aoyama Bldg. Office, which is "Temporary Umbrella Stand for Rainy Days" & "Extra Umbrella Stand"

(1) Use the "Temporary Umbrella Stand for Rainy Days" on the rainy days or "it might rain" days.* Umbrellas in this umbrella stand will be disposed without notice, if they are still there in the sunny days.
(2) If you want to keep your umbrella in the office for in case of rain, please write your full name to your umbrella, and move it to the "Extra Umbrella Stand"

* Write your full name by either of following steps.

1) Write your full name to the plastic tape prepared near the umbrella stand, and stick it to your umbrella.
2) Write your full name to the Tag with rubber band which is prepared near the umbrella stand, and tie it to your umbrella.
3) Write your full name in your own way to your umbrella.* Umbrellas with no names in this umbrella stand will be disposed without notice.
(4) Non-named umbrellas might be reused as company share umbrellas.

Your cooperation would be highly appreciated.

Workin' it...

Since I've been adjusting to my job and life here in general, I haven't been traveling much. But last weekend I finally released myself from the bubble of Tokyo and ventured to Kamakura. OK, so it's not that far away, but the atmosphere is so different, that I think it counts. Anyway, just watching the sun setting over the beach proved I wasn't in Tokyo anymore... Here are some pictures!

Wonder what I wished for... ?

I know I don't talk much about my job on here, mostly because I don't like to think about work when I'm not in the office... but since no one seems to really get what I do, I'll try to explain what I spend 45 odd hours of my week doing...

The wonderful world of PR: I work for a communications consulting firm that specializes in corporate and financial public relations. This means our clients are mostly investment banks and other big corporations, both foreign and Japanese. Basically, our job is to make them look good. We do this by directly communicating with their target audiences, but mainly we use the media to get out the messages they want to communicate. Particularly in Japan, people trust and rely on newspapers for their information. The Asahi Shimbun has the most readers of any newspaper in the world, and in the world of business, the Nikkei might as well just be renamed "Za Baiburu" (the Bible, hehe). Media is the mediUM to first reach the audience, and then to either reinforce or in some cases, change what people think about a company. This is especially important when one of these corporations or banks has something important going on, i.e. a merger or acquisition, restructuring, etc., or if they have no profile at all, i.e. they have newly entered the Japanese market, etc. In the first case, companies will hire us to carry out the communications for these complicated transactions, or in the second case, we will become a retainer for the clients and basically become their PR department, or an advisory team for their own in-house PR department.

What do I do? Well, each of our clients has an account team from our office, with maybe 3-6 of us who work on their account. Before the company hires us, usually they ask us to make a presentation for them, so they can decide if they want to hire us or another firm. So, if I'm on the prospective team, I make a power point presentation and then go with the team to pitch our ideas to them. Then if we're hired, it all depends on the nature of the account. I write press releases, attend meetings, draft other types of documents, take care of account logistics-- a lot of different types of things. I'm actually really happy with the amount of responsibility I have, and if you've noticed, the blog entries have been becoming more and more infrequent-- meaning I'm really busy!! This past week I had 2 big things going on-- a huge deadline on Friday, which included a 3 hour meeting with clients to go over all of the English documents for a restructuring transaction. I drafted maybe 30-40% of the documents, and it's a large account-- probably the most involved I've been so far. Also, I attended a press briefing (actually at Frenchy's former office and Frenchy 2's current office-- it's a small world-- can't say I wasn't hoping to run into a hot French banker, but it didn't happen) to hear two visiting economists speak on forecasts for the Japanese economy, and then wrote a summary press release about it. It was cool-- almost felt like I was back at university sitting and listening to economics lectures on power point and taking notes... except I was surrounded by Japanese reporters!

So, I get to write a lot, and I'm learning a ton about finance and Japanese business... Only negative is I sometimes have moral issues with some work I do but that's a longer story for a different entry. Anyway, the fact is I really do like my job. And my three months probation period is now up and I didn't get fired!! Hehe, and now I can take vacation too, which is great! Only 3 more weeks until Hawaii!!!!

Not just "au revoir," but "sayonara" too?

Well, just to give an update on my situation with the Frenchies, I guess I haven't quite said "au revoir" to all yet... and maybe I don't want to? My relationship has changed with each of them, but maybe I'm not totally ready to just write all of them off. Frenchies 2 and 3 in particular, being that they are also still in Tokyo-- I think I can keep being friends with them, right?
God knows I will need some more friends... all of a sudden they're dropping like flies, leaving P and I to face the swarms of J-girlophiles on our own. M is next to leave, and she will be followed by others... she is my godsend at work, being one of the only truly straight-thinking, logical, non-caricature of him/herself in the office; always a voice of reason when it comes to guys and relationships; and just an awesome person to go out with-- whether it's karaoke or "gai"kon! After all, it is she who introduced me to P, my flat, etc. And off to London she goes... Actually, what's so great about London, and why does everyone want to go there?! OK, understandable, M has been here for 8 years and her time is due to go back home to the British Isles... but it just seems everyone leaves Tokyo for London... shit weather, and your boogers are black when you blow your nose! Who wants that?!

Anyway, I guess after the holidays P and I will be on a "new single girlfriend" hunt. Hopefully we will not be mistaken for a lonely lesbian pair too many times... but ah well, if that's what we have to do... !

One of the breaks of living in Tokyo... apart from Japanese friends, this is no one's true home, which means that inevitably everyone will be leaving one time or another. New friends coming (maybe?), but it seems as though more friends are always leaving. I really just want to collect all of my best friends and stick them in a Burberry carry-my-chihuahua bag and take them along with me everywhere! Is that too much to ask!? Right now this Tokyo-America-Americanish island (didn't forget you Dr. J.)-Europe spread is just getting too hard to handle!
However, as proven to me many times over, it is not truly "sayonara" anyway, but just "Osewa ni narimashita. Jya-ne, bai bai" for now, because of course one place or another we will meet again

"Au revoir..."

...to all the Frenchies. After Saturday night, I cannot possibly say anything else.

DJ Sasha was at Womb! For those of you who are unfortunate enough to be missing out on the wild world of electronica, he is probably the most famous progressive house DJ in the world. He came on at 1 and played a 4 1/2 hour set. The first 2 hours were fabulous, but then he went into some really deep trance, which bored me a bit for the rest of the night.

Deep trance... the music reflected how I felt about most of the night. The first 2 hours were fabulous as I was hanging out with M and R, my fellow Fat Boy Slim party-goers. But then I see a familiar face-- Frenchy 2 approaches us! He seems to be by himself, and he dances with us for a little while, but then he motions for us to follow him, and there is Frenchy-- wait, and Frenchy 3 as well...!? Yes, there I was, in the immediate company of ALL THREE FRENCHIES!!! AHHHH! I should have just run then.

Can it get any more awkward? Frenchy 3 was trying to dance with me, and behind us was Frenchy, seemingly unphased by the whole thing, and then Frenchy 2, off dancing with some J-girl. That pretty much sums up the rest of the night, though at one point Frenchy 3 escaped to the bar (I think he was getting tired of trying to seem like he was enjoying the music), and I was left with just Frenchy, who was still very obviously trying not to dance with me.

So how did I say "au revoir?" Frenchy is now back to London, and though we established at a Saturday lunch that we would remain friends, it's still hard. As he was leaving, he gave me a kiss and picked me up and held me really tight before saying, "Talk to you soon" and running away from the thought of "us" for another year. I, on the other hand, was saying a very comprehensive "au revoir," at least for a while until I get over him, because I can't continue e-mailing him every day if that is ever to happen. To Frenchy 2, well, we can still continue to be friends, I suppose, though in my head I'm saying "au revoir" to any possibility of us being anything more. And to Frenchy 3, we had to have "the talk." At one point while we were on the dancefloor, he blurted, "You are not over (insert real name here) Frenchy, are you?" And so we had a long talk at the bar, where I gave him a rather vague answer but then called him yesterday to clarify. "I am not yet over Frenchy, and please don't expect for us to be anything but friends." My third and final au revoir of the weekend.

So what shall I write in my posts from now on?! I have no more drama with men-- I have no more men! The most boring possible existence for me, though I should probably use this time to get myself sorted out. But what have I been doing for the past year-plus while I've been single?! I thought I was sorted out! Or perhaps I was unknowingly plagued with a long and bitter case of French fever. Anyone have any medication for that!?

Coming to terms...

After a night of wallowing in self pity, I am feeling much better today, thanks to all the wise advice and support of all of you. I am so lucky to have such great friends to kick my ass up off the floor when it shows no sign of getting up itself! But I do bounce back quickly. I usually just need to pour my emotions out and wallow for a while and then I come to my senses.

I did a lot of thinking last night and concluded that he is truly the loser. I honestly think that what he had shown Friday night were probably his true feelings, uninhibited by a bit of alcohol and no time to prep himself with the "emotions shield." It's probably how he would actually feel around me if he was to let himself go and be honest with himself and his emotions. But then because he is stubborn and childish and proud, he talks himself out of that, which is fine really, and probably for the best (for me) anyway. He is the one not being honest with himself, and maybe it will come back to bite him in the ass in the end.

I knew deep down that he isn't the one for me, but I think just because I haven't found anyone else or even really been very interested in anyone else, I just dreamt up this fantasy of what I wanted him to be-- minus all the bad points (and there are many). So by seeing him again, and now thinking about just how he is (criticizing my neighborhood, how Japanese people live, making me meet him in Shibuya b/c he couldn't make his way 2 stops further, taking the lovely dinner for granted, etc.), I am reminded again of why I was unhappy with him in the first place. We have some strong physical chemistry, but emotionally we are not on the same level at all. He's really a 30 yr old child who needs a mother, not a girlfriend.

So..... in closing, however, I know you all might disagree, but I think I should have lunch with him before he goes, just because I don't want things to end on his terms. I don't want him to remember me as this sobbing girl who had her heart broken by him because he is so great and wonderful. I want to explain to him how I really feel-- that I know we aren't right for each other, that we don't match emotionally, but that I was looking for someone, and some fantastical representation of him somehow filled that void while my search has been unsuccessful. What do you think? I will of course have to reword that so he can understand. :)
It feels good to be moving on....

Heartbroken...

It's been a while since I've felt it, and jeez, I didn't need a reminder.

Frenchy arrived Friday night, and I met him and his 2 friends in Roppongi. Instantly, it was as if we had never been apart. Sparks were flying everywhere-- fireworks, you name it. We fell straight back into coupledom for the rest of the night, and in addition to all of the cuddling and kissing that probably disgusted everyone around, phrases such as, "Maybe I never should have left." "I didn't know you were coming until it was too late," etc., escaped from his lips. Yes, alcohol was involved, but I don't think alcohol can totally change the look in someone's eyes-- ok, maybe to a glazed over stupor, but not to an "I'm in love with you" look. And that was the look I was getting. I was ecstatic to say the least. I don't know what I wanted, because I knew he'd only be here for a week, but at that moment, THAT was what I wanted. He went back with his friends, but promised he'd see me Sunday night (Saturday he had a wedding), for the whole night. Things looked crystal clear.

Saturday he called, said he would let me know if they were going out after the wedding, and would call me Sunday when he woke up. Sunday morning came and went. Sunday afternoon came and went. Finally at 6pm he called, and I said I was making dinner for him at my place. Making dinner is an understatement. I was preparing a freaking all-out gourmet feast that I had put numerous trips to the grocery store, trial cooking sessions, and a lot of money into.
I had to meet him at Shibuya station because he claimed he would never find the elusive Gakugei-daigaku station. After 3 years of living in Tokyo he couldn't make his way 2 stops from Shibuya? I let out a big sigh, but conceded. He then proceeded to walk through my neighborhood and proclaimed it "too Japanese," and noted, "ugh, how can people live in THOSE houses? They're so ugly." "Japanese friend X lives in an area like this, except even more posh." Guys, my area is a quaint, very nice, reasonable residential area. Yes, it's Japanese. WE ARE IN JAPAN! I ignored him. He announced he wasn't hungry. He ate anyway, and said it was good. Good!? It was a culinary masterpiece! But unfortunately for me a full stomach doesn't ease a heartbreak.

He said Friday was a mistake. He was drunk. He is leaving and doesn't want to hurt me. He respects and likes me a lot, but he's looking for something new, something serious, and something NOT ME. He thought he made himself clear (yes, very clear by the e-mails and Friday night). He thinks I'm cute and attractive, but doesn't feel that I'm more than a good friend. If he did, he would have asked me to come back sooner. He thought maybe after I left last summer he'd miss me, but he didn't. He's really sorry. He didn't know I still felt so strongly. And he needed a cab back. He said these things in a kinder way, by the way, as I bawled my eyes out.

And to make me feel even better, he offhandedly mentioned that he at least gave things a try with me, whereas other guys would have just tried to get me in bed and been done with it. "But don't worry, Joce, this is because you have great T&A!"-- and this is supposed to make me feel BETTER??

What about my brain? my personality? thoughtfulness? fun-loving spirit? Hello decent men of the world, where are you!? Please tell me there is someone out there who just doesn't want to take a girl to bed and use her for her T&A. I know it wasn't a purposefully hurtful comment, but it made me feel cheap, and like women have nothing to offer but a body for some too-horny guy to enjoy. But he reminded me that if he didn't "respect" me, he would just take advantage of me. But isn't that what he just did Friday night? Oh right, but he's sorry for that. It was a mistake. I was a mistake.

Can someone who isn't so hurt and involved please explain to me how a person can change THAT drastically in a course of 36 hours? Mash thinks that he did some thinking between Saturday and Sunday and got scared about his feelings and what happened and what COULD happen. Friday night was all heart, but Sunday was all head? I try to make too many excuses for him. But one thing is for certain.... I got what I do need most-- CLOSURE. The Frenchy saga has come to an end, folks, and it's finally time that I can move on. I have seen him in the flesh, face-to-face, and heard it first hand. He doesn't want to be with me. Period. Full stop.
Rejected, dejected, heartbroken, feeling worthless. But with the good sense knowledge that it was for the best. I needed this to happen. It did. Now I just need the kick in the ass to get me going again.

Bad news comes in 3s...

1. After my awesome clubbing experience and hair sessions on Wednesday, I went to bed really early, like right after I wrote my last entry at 8pm, because I had slept so little the night before. So i was already asleep when P came home, and I woke up to her yelling "mother f-ing bloody hell," etc. etc. I went to see what was wrong, and our toilet had started leaking out the back. Japanese toilets have these little faucet/mini sinks on top of the tanks, and people for some reason like to decorate them. P had put little pebbles in ours-- sort of a zen garden type of thing. Anyway, earlier in the day, our cleaning lady had dropped one of the pebbles in the tank while she was cleaning, and had called to say something might be wrong. And it was, apparently. Our toilet was broken, and god I had to pee!

2. Due to #1, we were mopping up the (clean) water with towels, but we needed more. So P ran to her room to get more towels, and again, I hear, BOOM! "f-ing bloody f-ing hell." I just started laughing because she had apparently stubbed her toe on the doorframe and was swearing bloody murder again. What a sitcom, I thought. But then I looked at her pinky toe, which was jutting out to the side in some funny bent up fashion, and it wasn't so funny. 12am-- P takes off in a cab to hospitals 1 and 2 and comes home with crutches. The diagnosis? Broken toe, immobile for a week, no shoe for maybe 3 weeks. THE WORST POSSIBLE TIMING! She has 2 friends from Australia in town today for a week, and Frenchy comes tonight too! She can't travel or show them around! I feel awful for her and am trying to do as much as I can-- shopping, etc., because it's just horrible getting around Japan on crutches! But I told her, she can still eat and drink and do karaoke, so it can't be that bad, right??! And in the process, maybe it will be too crowded in our place and I will finally get to try a rabu hoteru !

3. Unrelated, but obviously, BUSH. 'Nough said.

Anticipation...

What better time to write a blog entry than when you're trying your hardest to stay awake until at least 8pm so your sleep schedule isn't totally up shit's creek. Today is some Japanese holiday! I say some Japanese holiday, because there are so many (in my opinion) inane holidays in this country-- Day of the Sea, etc. OK, I just looked it up-- today is Culture Day. Exciting stuff. Not that I don't welcome the days off. But anyway, I went to Womb last night and saw an AWESOME DJ group from Australia called Infusion, and then hung out with them a bit afterwards! so I was thrilled of course. Though that meant getting home at 6am, sleeping for 3.5 hours, and then getting up for my full day of having people try to make me beautiful (they have to work with what they've got after all). Almost 30,000yen ($300) later, every hair on my body best be looking absolutely perfect. 'Nough said.

So, since last entry, there are just a few things. Very busy at work and got some exciting new accounts to work on, which I'm happy about! Met a gorgeous European guy at a dinner last weekend-- from southern Switzerland, but Dad is Italian and Mom is Swiss-German, so his accent is mostly Italian with a hint of German and French. And soooo typically the type of European I would fall for-- so dramatic and passionate about EVERYTHING and talking with his hands and studied philosophy, etc. We talked for most of the dinner and then went for drinks afterwards, but one other guy stayed too, so as they say, 3 is a crowd, and it definitely was. I think it's bad news, though. He is gorgeous and surely has tons of J-girls after him, and he knows it. Maybe I'll call him after Frenchy leaves. I didn't give him my number.

In case you're looking for my countdown, Frenchy will be arriving Friday night at 10pm, and then we're going out w/ Frenchy #2 and some others, I think. Hopefully a lot of things will get straightened out with this visit, but on the other hand, I have a funny feeling they'll be getting much more complicated. 2 days and counting!

And also counting.... the votes! Right now I'm still waiting to hear about Nevada, Iowa and Wisconsin. It's not looking good for Kerry, folks. Not looking good at all...

One Cast for Kerry...

Totally dejected about never having received my absentee ballot, I resigned myself today to the fact that I just wasn't going to be able to vote. I thought I had done everything right-- I even requested my absentee ballot months ago! But, after reading further instructions today, I realized that I had only faxed in a request for my ballot. I didn't realize that I had to mail it too. And unless I forked over a small fortune to overnight the thing, it would never arrive on time. So I thought I was totally f$#*ed. I rationalized, "Well, I did get Jake to change his mind while he was here. That means one less for Bush and one more for Kerry. That's like 2 votes, so that means in a way I voted." I still felt guilty.

Well, while I was finishing up a meeting today, my boss burst in with her usual dramatic flair and proclaimed, "I have a special public service announcement. Jocelyn, you can vote at the embassy. Get your skates on and go NOW! Do the world a favor!" Haha, so I ran down, flagged a taxi, and off to the embassy I went. I felt like they had been waiting for me! I handed security my bag... "I'm here to vote!" The guard urged me along, "They're closing right now! Hurry up and run!" and shuffled me inside. I received an FWAB (Federal Write-in Absentee Ballot), filled out a Fed-Ex slip, and minutes later, my vote was couriered off to Pennsylvania overnight FOR FREE! Now THAT is service!!

I have no doubt now-- John Kerry is our next President !!

Fishing season...?

Well this has been an uneventful week... a full work week of long hours, highlighted only by another "WORST" typhoon to hit Tokyo in a decade. Isn't rainy season over?!

I wish I had something more interesting to say, but all I can do is brace you for an interesting update after the weekend. Just when I thought the pool had dried up and I had to go fishing again, 2 dates have popped up.

JC's DATE UPDATE--Tomorrow night another go with Frenchy #3... we got on so well together I figured he deserves a second chance-- but if I'm not feeling it, I definitely have to make it clear somehow that I'm only interested in being friends-- any suggestions? I am so not good at this sort of thing.

The next date on Saturday night is with the British rugby player/attorney that I met at B's sayonara party (see entry on October 4). Well, I have heard from 2 reliable sources that this guy is not only a rugby player, but a PLAYA-- so I'm not sure how I feel about it. Also, he waited like 2 weeks to ask me out! But I think I will give him the benefit of the doubt, at least until date #1 when we see what this is really all about.

Funny update-- Aussie boy (aka First Kitchen date) mailed me the other night (after maybe 2? 3? weeks) saying, "why the long silence? don't you want to talk to me anymore?" I mailed back saying "Hey what's up" to be polite, but I don't think I'll be wasting my time on this one.
And finally, Frenchy will be here in just about 2 weeks!!! The suspense is ridiculous... I just keep wondering how I'll feel when I see him, and how he'll feel, and what it will be like to be face-to-face with him again, when really I need to start bracing myself for disappointment. Let's be realistic now. Of course we'll probably have a great time, and then he'll be back to London, I'll be here, and it's no fairy tale ending.

More details to come...

A French twist...

EEEEEKKKK!!!
From Frenchy:

you still serious about having me at your place ? looks like FX's gonna be
busy

Enough said. I'm freaking out.

Making connections...

I guess I'll start with Friday's date with Frenchy 3. (he's climbing the ranks, folks) We were meeting for a french dinner in Akasaka, but I got off work a bit early, so stopped into my favorite watering hole (Hobgoblin Akasaka) for a beer. Of course, the bartender is a good friend of mine, which usually means he gives me a little more than a beer at very low cost (meaning free). So maybe it had to do with the fact that even before I met up with the poor guy I was already a bit red in the face. But hey wait! I'm at the station waiting for Frenchy 3, and who is this guy walking toward me? Apparently Frenchy 3 doesn't always wear glasses and even does his hair kind of cool/spiky sometimes...!? Anyway, he looked cute! Dinner was good and then after we went back to Hobgoblin for more free drinks, and Frenchy 3 was well entertained by the manager there, who is also French but doesn't like to admit it. He actually thinks that there should be no countries-- we are all earthlings, so in fact, this should just be one earthling planet of peace. It gets better- the first time I met this man, his eye was swollen like the size of a baseball because he had spent 4 months snorting vodka and absynthe. I kid you not. The look on Frenchy 3's face was priceless when he heard this! So, again, I really like this guy's personality, and he is starting to grow on me... (maybe??) or else he is when I have a few drinks in me... shit! I guess maybe we should go on a non-alcoholic date sometime. Anyway, he is definitely a real sweetie, but I'm not getting anywhere even close to associated/involved with anyone until after the Frenchy visit (in less than 2 weeks).

Which brings me to my next interesting point. So all along I have been saying how I keep meeting people connected to him. Well this one takes the cake. This weekend we just figured out that Px's friend M, who I have also become friends with, knows him as well. Her best friend is Frenchy's Japanese ex-girlfriend, who he dated right before me. So I got some great scoop, including things like, "oh wait-- you mean he didn't dump her like he said he did because she was boring and annoying!? SHE actually dumped HIM because HE was boring and annoying and selfish and acted like a child!?" Seems that Frenchy had his pride hurt a little bit more than he let on to me. I've been telling him when I meet someone he also knows, but for this one, I think I'll just wait until he gets here and sees M's picture all over our apartment. The look on his face could be worth the wait.

The rest of the weekend was spent with friends, including a good friend I studied with at Nagoya who I hadn't seen yet. I was with her during the freaking HUGE ASS earthquake, all FOUR of them in fact! Quite unnerving... they came right in a row, and in the center of it, which was in Niigata, it rated a 6! When I got home, Px was freaking out, which was quite funny to watch, though I know, P, one day your earthquake kits will save my life. Anyway, Saturday I never heard from the English dude who had asked me out for Saturday night, so he gets the write off. I did, however, see none other than First Kitchen Aussie boy handing out water Saturday at the Race for the Cure. He looked good, as always, and I managed to keep a polite and smiling face while making small talk with him. The things I do for charity...

Here's a pic from Saturday night at our place...

Px is wearing a princess tiara from the breast cancer walk. We were the "princess team" and all wore pink crowns. Very fitting. Then we have M, my oneichan and informant of Frenchy and his lying past, Satoshi my new and first Japanese guy friend who Px met through family friends in Brisbane, and finally Matt-o my best guy friend and American partner in crime. Highlights included shoecreams in various creamy flavors, Px's delish dinner (as always), 4 bottles of wine mysteriously emptying themselves, and Orgazmo, a must-see work of motion picture art by the creators of South Park.

Pretty princess pic from the walk...

Playing tour guide...

(pics from my weekend with Jake)

That was this weekend. Jake, my friend / first serious boyfriend from high school came to visit on his way back to California from a business trip to Shanghai. He's a chemical engineer with AbleStick Laboratories (no, I'm not joking, that's really the name of his lab, which fyi, makes semi-conductors, not babies!).

Jake was my first visitor in Tokyo and it was his first time to Japan, so we had to make it a fun weekend in a limited amount of time. I must say I had a great time being a tourist again. I hadn't gone to see anything new since I've been back, because I figured I would do it when I got visitors. So here was my chance. But WOW, I almost forgot how tiring it was to play tour guide/translator... answering questions, being up early to get in a full day after staying out late to show off Tokyo nightlife... intense but fun! Here are some highlights:
Tsukiji Market... I have never felt so uncomfortable around "food" in my entire life. Fish EVERYWHERE, beady eyes bulging out at you from their styrofoam crypt, one minute flopping around, next minute, BEHEADED!

It was like watching mass murderers go after their victims-- but very tasty victims. We ate the best sushi I've ever had afterwards (after waiting 2 1/2 hours to get in... apparently there was a festival in town that I didn't know about).

Imperial Palace Grounds... I had already been here so it wasn't that big of a deal. I do feel like that area, though, is not like real Tokyo. It almost reminds of Washington D.C.-- that very manicured, almost artificial landscape dotted by government buildings. Great running area, though. I wish I lived closer so I could run around there, and then I wouldn't have to pay an arm and a leg to join Tipness every month.

Yasukuni Jinja... obviously a place of great controversy, as the prime minister of Japan continues to visit it every year to pay homage to the war criminals buried here. The Chinese and Koreans do not appreciate it! I don't really know enough about the topic to have strong feelings either way, but I found that even though I want to buy my mom an omamori, I didn't want to buy it at this shrine. I think I was subconsciously biased. Anyway, there is a beautiful garden there, though, and it reminded me that I should come out and take advantage of these places more. It captures what I love about Tokyo-- a very secluded, serene, beautiful garden-- when you are there, you feel like there is no other place in the entire world... yet, if you look up, there is a Tokyo TV or radio tower rising high into the sky. But the images don't conflict-- in fact, they simply illustrate what Tokyo is, a mixture of old and new in the most extreme ways finding a nice harmony together.

The day had to end with a huge group dinner at an izakaya in Shibuya and nijikai at Shidax, the karaoke mecca of Tokyo. We were on the Mermaid floor, and diva-ed out the usuals, Genie in a Bottle, Girls Just Wanna Have Fun, Lady Marmalade (w/ my duet partner Px), I Will Survive, etc.

Px and I decided we need to expand our repertoire, though, so we're going to find a boring day and go practice on our own during the day! haha, we are such dorks! But Px has an amazing voice-- Toxic made its debut, and we think it's a keeper. We also had some oldies but goodies because M.'s parent were in from Scotland and came along... I might add they are the cutest older married couple ever! And if I was only listening to her father, I would have thought he was William Wallace (or Mel Gibson in Braveheart). Gotta love the Scottish accent.
We finished off today dashing around Meiji Jingu, Yoyogi Koen, Harajuku and Omotesando, and PHEW! it's my bedtime! Work is going to be super busy tomorrow AND I have to be there early.... iyada.

Bye bye B...

Pics from B's Sayonara Party!! and...
the night before B left us-- my present to him-- a "yellow fever" t-shirt. he has it-- you know you do too! Me? I'm sporting the ADPi comfort look.

This weekend was L's birthday/housewarming party... L is the American girl I randomly met at a bar and became friends with, and after a 1/2 hour of conversing, it came up that she is friends with Frenchy. Small world! Next to her is my Japanese friend Y... we hang out a lot, and it's how I will "leberu-uppu" my Japanese :)

The worst idea ever...

Darling B. left Px and I his "mama-chari," aka his bike with the little basket that you ride to the grocery store, the station, etc. Only thing was, we had to pick it up at his place, which is maybe 1/2 hour ride from our house. No big deal at all, right?

Except how and when to complete this PITA task... we would have to subway to Nishi-Koyama, get the bike and then one of us would ride the train home and one of us would ride the bike... and figure out how in the world to get back using actual roads as opposed to train lines.
And... to accomplish this task before the bike ended up being stolen from its resting place. Theft is a rare occurrence in Japan, but bikes are probably one of the more "stealable" objects, and PLEASE-- Px and I have been waiting for this mama-chari for ages (it even has a COVERED basket!!). So we decided today would be the day...

Unfortunately, we made this decision IN THE MIDDLE OF A TYPHOON!!! Well, there was a break in the rain, and I thought Px really wanted to go today, and she on the other hand thought that I really wanted to go today, so in the midst of our miscommunication, we stupidly went. We got directions from the Koban (police box), and ventured into Nishi Koyama, and found the bike at B's secure, though looking slightly depressed from the shit weather it was made to endure. Unfortunately, by that time, it was POURING, and Px and I were made to weather the shit rain as well. She didn't want to leave me to find my way back home by myself, so we had a splendid idea-- we would return through the storm together-- she would ride the bike and I would jog home.

So we did this-- we rode/jogged almost an HOUR home in the middle of the typhoon. I was wearing a rain coat, but had on jeans and my Puma sneaks, and well, after 10 minutes, I was soaked right through to the bone. No need for a hood, a rain jacket, or any other rain gear, because it only sopped up an extra 10 pounds of water for me to carry with me on my jog. Honestly, all I wanted to do was take off my pants, which were sticking to me and preventing me from even moving my legs in a stride that would take me any distance at any speed-- I didn't, of course, but it wouldn't have mattered anyway... everyone was staring at these crazy soaking wet idiots biking/jogging through the typhoon anyway. Only stopping to a.) get a plastic bag from 711 to wrap up my almost ruined passport and b.) to get under cover once because the rain was stinging my eyeballs, we eventually made it home with the cursed mama-chari.

This was the WORST idea in the world, especially after I found out that this is the WORST typhoon to hit the Kanto region in the past TEN YEARS! How will I remember it? Running an hour through the blinding rain for a bicycle with a covered basket and a faulty right brake. GOD BLESS JAPAN.

Ladies...

Amanda has accepted her nomination! So proud to call her my best friend!

(by the way, this is Halloween. We may be crazy but we don't always dress like devil and bunny, despite all of your sexual fantasies)...

Amanda's Platform:

I proudly accept my nomination to President of the I HATE BOYS Club. If elected your president, I will do my best to further the interest of red-blooded, man-hating women everywhere. For those of you unfamiliar with my platform, please rest assured that I am working for YOU! Once I am elected, I can promise:

1) Men will be forced to talk about their emotions. New legislation will makeit a crime punishable by castration to make a woman feel that her emotions are outlandish or silly. An aggrevated form of this crime occurs when the man in question is feeling the same thing as the woman, and punishment in this casewill be accompanied by immediate balding.

2) Men will respect women. This goes beyond simply not abusing them physically and/or emotionally. They will consider our opinions without rolling their eyes, and they will return our phone calls, emails, and other correspondence within 36 hours. If these conditions are not met, the man will be placed in an all white room, with no form of contact to the outside world, until his depth perception is proven to decay to such levels that the female guard only lets him out because it is fun to watch him repeatedly walk into walls.

3) Men will actually be required to do as they say. Any man found to be inviolation of this rule will be forced to watch every episode of Oprah everrecorded, in marathon form.

4) Men will be required to put women's sexual needs in at least an equalposition (no pun intended!) with their own. Any man found to be in violationof this rule will be forced to watch every episode of Sex and the City everrecorded, in marathon form.

5) Men will be forced to ask for directions when lost. If found in violation,the man will be forced to stare at various maps of the world for 30 days or the until madness sets in, whichever comes later. If the man issues a complaint, the man is simply to be reminded that he "wanted to find himself."

For more information on these initiatives, and many, many more, please visit my website at http://www.amandaforchange.com/. For general information on the I HATE BOYS Club, please go to http://www.ihateboysclub.org/. Don't forget to hit the polls in November!

Thanks for you help, Amanda
*Amanda for Change...because if they can send a man to the moon, they can send them ALL there!*

Members: (BEWARE, they are known to go crazy)

The VP Debate...

Taking advantage of some boring accounting task at work, I plugged in the headphones and continued my discreet debate tracking...

Verdict? Though I hate to say it, I was a bit disappointed in Edwards' performance. It wasn't bad by any means-- nowhere near as bad as Bush's in debate 1, but I think I expected him to get up there and outshine Cheney with his courtroom debate skills and southern charm. In actuality, I tend to agree with this guy Chris Matthews of MSNBC Hardball:

"I think the analogy would be a water pistol against a machine gun. Every
once in a while, Edwards would take a squirt at the vice president, and then the
vice president would just turn the Howitzer on the guy."

There were a few points where Edwards got him-- Cheney never really successfully refuted arguments about his lack of support for sanctions on Iran, or his ultra-conservative voting record:

"When he (Cheney) was one of 435 members of the United States House, he was one of 10 to vote against Head Start, one of four to vote against banning plastic
weapons that can pass through metal detectors. He voted against the
Department of Education. He voted against funding for Meals on Wheels for
seniors. He voted against a holiday for Martin Luther King. He voted
against a resolution calling for the release of Nelson Mandela in South Africa,"

(awful stuff!) for example.

But on the other hand, Cheney made Edwards sound like he was in the wrong ballpark, several times-- his inaccurate figures on the budget for Iraq, his attendance record at the Senate (ouch, that one really hurt!), and the Kerry-Edwards flip-flop on Iraq after Howard Dean was running the primaries on an anti-war campaign.

I don't think it will undo Kerry's win from the previous debate, and perhaps my expectations for Edwards were just very high. For his first national debate, he was not by any means shabby. But I guess for Dick, 12 more years of "wisdom" and a few heart attacks can give a guy some punch.

Frenchy #3 and more...

Friday's "date" was refreshing compared to the last.

Good points-- I must say that the Frenchies are quite good with treating a lady (at least for the first few dates) so I have no complaints. We went to dinner at a popular izakaya in Shibuya and then to a few bars afterwards and ended up staying out until around 4am. Conversation was good (and went on one-on-one for a good SEVEN HOURS or so!), despite the French accent, which was quite strong, but I guess I've grown accustomed to it by now (and like it!).

But there are drawbacks-- As we're conversing, of course it also came up that we knew the same people, for instance Frenchy #2, which I already knew, and THE Frenchy as well. He was noticeably surprised when after a while I mentioned that he was my ex. He then invited me to a Frenchy party Saturday night, but I couldn't attend because of B's sayonara party, which was probably a good thing. I didn't really want to be seen among all of Frenchy's friends "with" Frenchy #3. So, the "connections" don't make for a good situation either. In fact, I think dating other Frenchies just makes me miss the real Frenchy even more. I am beginning to wonder if I will just compare every guy I date to Frenchy until I get over him (there was only one who I didn't, and that of course was Mr. Sweden, which was impossible as well...). And in that case, am I just wasting my time going out with anyone else?

Maybe after my next date I will see, hehe. Saturday night at B's farewell party I met a British rugby player turned attorney at a big investment bank. Very cute, 30, and interested. He asked me out and I gave him my card, so now the waiting game begins. God this is a never-ending cycle.

B is leaving tomorrow morning, and though I've only known him a short time, I am genuinely really going to miss him. He is seriously one of the most amazing guys I have ever met-- gorgeous, brilliant, incredible personality-- he needs to be cloned for every single deserving woman out there.

He is staying at our place tonight and Px is cooking a "last supper" in Japan for him.
Hmm, all sad faces though honestly, that is not how I generally feel! Maybe it's the cold rainy Monday weather getting to me....